Amrit Vani: Family is the Prime Training School of Spirituality
"Om Bhūr Bhuvaḥ Swaḥ, Tatsaviturvareṇyaṁ Bhargo Devasya Dhīmahi, Dhiyo Yonaḥ Prachodayāt"
Sisters and Brothers,
Nature has gifted us, human beings, with a tendency to live in a family. Living in a 'Family' means living with others, cooperating, and sharing the joys, sorrows, and responsibilities with them.
In general, people form their own families by getting married; they live with their spouses and children in their respective families. Often near relatives — especially the parents of the husband or wife — also live in one's family. Those who are not married also have a family consisting of their parents, siblings, etc. Usually, the bond of love and affection with family members, the natural help and support offered by them, are such that family becomes one's most 'sought-after' comfort zone.
But what about those who don't have any near-relative or blood-relation living with them? Well, they also don't live in complete isolation all the time. They would also have some people around — friends, colleagues, and others — with whom they interact. Healthy, amicable, cooperating relationships with people are also soothing, like a family-relation. In fact, it is the soothing feelings and relations of friendship, harmony, togetherness, caring and sharing, mutual respect, help, tolerance, etc., which account for the paradise of a 'family.' Wider the domain of such family-relationships, broader would be the horizons of content, peace, and blissfulness in one's life.
Spiritual Context of Family Life
Only 'living together' does not define a family-life. There are several other aspects of family-life that pertain to spirituality. How much you earn is not a concern here, but how you earn and, equally importantly, how you spend it — that matters.
Spiritual disciplines require that you earn by honest means and spend it prudently with a sense of responsibility. Do you care for the health issues of your elderly parent(s)? Do you owe anything to them — are they as capable as they were when they brought you up? And what about the children? If not you, then who will take care of their adept upbringing, education, and overall development?
Spiritual qualities like honesty, generosity, farsightedness, etc. can be practically tested even on this single criterion — what do you do with your earnings? You may be very intelligent and very talented; you may have earned a lot of respect and resources. But you are a failure on the spiritual front if you misuse what you have.
Do Not Misuse Your Resources
You are worse than a criminal if your potentials, abilities, resources, and earnings are misused or are encouraging/spreading evils or unhealthy tendencies in any form. You might be a famous lawyer — earning huge sums by winning judicial cases. But if you tell lies, you misguide witnesses, train them to tell lies, and use your sharp intellect in arguments supporting your clients even if they are culpable — then you are a bigger culprit than them.
Tell me, will you use the same tactics, the same deceptive approach against your own family members? How will you feel if your near and dear ones are being misguided or cheated by someone? So you see, morality is so naturally followed when it comes to the people in our family! Far more than morality, even spirituality is nurtured naturally in family life.
Spiritual Principles Inherent in Family Life
Affectionate care of the family members and sharing the resources with them are pivotal in happy family life. If you are the only earning member of your family, it is your natural responsibility to spend your income to take care of all the dependents. If your wife is not earning, you need to share your income with her to help manage all essential expenses of the family, including her own needs. She sacrifices all her time and efforts, all her priorities in making the "sweet home" and efficiently takes care of you and others in the family. You must respect her endeavors and do your level best for her well-being and self-development.
The paradise of family life depends upon the collective efforts of its capable members towards their duties, mutual respect, and support for the healthy progress of everyone in the family. Expansion of these beyond the selfish attachment with blood-relations is what accounts for spiritual development. Be generous, be grateful, be wise to rise above your selfish outlook — widen your domain of mutual respect, care, and sharing of responsibilities, compassion, kindness, and service to encompass more and more people who interact with you. Whole-heartedly recognize and respect the good qualities of others.
Foundation of Spirituality — Inculcation of Virtues
Time and again I would like to remind you that it is not the practice of rituals, but rather the adoption of spiritual tendencies and observance of the principles of spirituality in conduct that lead to spiritual ascent, enlighten the mind, awaken inner potentials, and make one a great human.
Please get rid of all such mindless convictions, blind faith, and superstitions. History has so many examples when tyrant invaders had attacked and looted the grand historic temples and destroyed even the idols of the main deities there. Why could not the deities save their idols? The universal truth is that the power of divinity is not in an idol of a deity; it is not awakened by any rituals. Divinity indwells in the depths of your conscience, purity of your mind, and heart.
Spirituality pertains to refinement on all dimensions of our being — all fronts of life. It requires refinement of thoughts, character, behavior, attitude, approach to life, method of working, and the inherent tendencies. Spiritual progress does not commence without self-awakening and sincere endeavors of self-discipline and self-refinement — uprooting the evils, the vices, the blemishes, the negative tendencies — and cultivating the virtues, benevolence, and other positive qualities. No God, no divine force can bless any boon or shower any grace upon you, despite hundreds of rituals of worship, unless you adopt the righteous approach of spiritual development.
In fact, you may not have realized it, but your practical training of self-refinement has already begun with your sādhanā sessions here.
[To be continued in next issue]
"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." — Desmond Tutu
"No matter what you have done for yourself or humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?" — Elbert Hubbard
"The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence." — Denis Waitley