Speak Softly Please
In this world the prime reason behind most of the distress, disputes and quarrels is the manner of speaking. Speech is a medium through which we express our feelings, thoughts and inner nature. It is a reflection of our personality, too. As are one's emotions and thoughts at a moment, so becomes one's manner of speaking. In anger, the speech becomes harsh and loud, while in happiness, it fills others hearts with love and affection. It is possible to identify the nature of a person through his speech. It is an expression of his inner energy. Body's energy is spent while speaking. Those who speak too much have lower levels of body energy. Spiritual masters have always advised control over speech for this reason, and said that we must speak less, speak sweetly and speak truly.
To speak less means being pithy and expressing our thoughts in as few words as possible. A perfect example of such a speech is the Yog Sutras by Maharshi Patanjali. Even though these are written aphorisms and not spoken, readers can clearly realize that the rishi has condensed very deep and vivid concepts in these aphorisms. To speak sweetly means, to say what others can easily understand and say what is pleasant to others. To speak good means, saying what never harms others. An example of this is the voice of Lord Buddha. His heart was filled with kindness and love for others and he never spoke unpleasant words to anyone. All that he spoke for the benefit of the whole world has been preserved till today and his teachings are highly revered.
A person's speech can sound mild, cacophonic or sharp, but it can be made beneficent for all through one spiritual practice — the sādhanā of silence. Silence is the best practice for learning control over speech. By remaining quiet we get a chance to ponder over what we have spoken, consider what we are going to speak, and think again about what we are ready to say to others. This is important because whatever we say can never be reverted and it definitely makes an impact.
There are many people in the world who have no control over what they speak. Whatever comes to their mind, they blurt it out. Such people lose their credibility as no one believes or considers important what they say. Despite speaking a lot, such people cannot convey their thoughts; they cannot influence others, and so, end up wasting all their energy.
Saint Tulsidas has strongly advised control over speech and said that if we want to spread happiness everywhere and want to make others our own, then the best way and the best method to adopt is to discard harsh words and adopt simple, sweet and honest speech. This is the best means to augment intimacy. In contrast, unkind words are like hard stones, which inflict wounds on others' minds.
We express our thoughts and emotions through our speech. If the spoken words have no emotions attached with them, then their effect is only at the intellectual level, just like knowledge acquired from the books of a syllabus. However, if emotions are also embedded in thoughts then they strike the chords of hearts. This is why the foundation of relations gets laid less at the intellectual level and more at the emotional level.
The more we infuse emotions into our thoughts, the stronger becomes the foundation of our relations and we feel intimacy and comfort in them. On the other hand, if emotions are negative like those of treachery, falsehood, jealousy, envy and selfishness, then though relations may get formed initially, they develop cracks soon and it becomes difficult to maintain them.
Through her devotional songs, Meera Bai guided innumerable people in the righteous direction in her time. Despite being a woman, she could enrich hearts of men who were intoxicated with quarrelsome attitude with softness, gentleness and empathy. She created such a revolution that its imprints can still be found on the society. Poems and songs are expressions of our voice that comprise of both thoughts and emotions. Even in normal conversations it is possible to include words and expressions that express emotions like friendliness and respect.
Along with good speech it is also necessary to pay attention to our behaviour towards others. If we do not act in accord with what we say, then our credibility becomes suspect. Such a speech becomes ineffective. For this reason, in our culture promise, pledge and resolve have been given a lot of importance.
Promise means, whatever is said will definitely be done. It is a word that has to be kept. At every important occasion and ritual, oaths are taken so that a person remembers them and fulfils them. A resolve is that which a person makes out of his own will for himself. For example, King Dashrath had given two promises to Queen Kaikeyi, to fulfil which, Lord Ram spent 14 years in forests. Lord Ram himself took a pledge raising his both hands in the air that he will cleanse the whole world of demons. Bhishma, son of Ganga, had also taken a pledge that he will not marry his whole life and will protect the throne of Hastinapur till death. Bhagirath had taken a firm resolve to bring down river Ganga from heavens and devoted his entire life to this herculean task.
We earn credibility when we use these terms. At the same time, it is very important to refine, correct and adorn our speech, because its wrong usage can hurt others' hearts so much that it becomes impossible to heal the wounds caused by it. Poet Rahim has written beautiful lines on the need for correct speaking:
Rahiman jivha bavri, kar gayi sarag patal, Khud kah bhitar ghus gayi, jooti pade kapal
(Meaning: "Tongue is a crazy creature, it can turn heaven into hell. After speaking ill, it goes hiding inside, and exposes the head to face all brickbats.")
Truly, lack of control over tongue subjects a man to humiliation and disgrace. It is imperative that we learn to moderate our speech, and learn to apologize if we commit a mistake. We must learn simple, pleasant speaking and in adverse circumstances learn to stay silent.
"We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right." — Nelson Mandela
"It is wise to persuade people to do things and make them think it was their own idea." — Nelson Mandela
"To deny people their human rights is to challenge their very humanity." — Nelson Mandela